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city go by. He was floating, really. He knew he needed
to get back to reality, but he wanted to stay in the
fantasy a little longer.
It had been such a good weekend, making love with
Hawk, meeting some of Hawk's friends, making love
some more and then some more. They'd sucked and
rubbed and tugged and oh, it all felt so good. He knew
there was a lot more Hawk wanted to show him, though
he only had a vague idea what some of it might be. He
trusted Hawk, though.
And his boundaries were expanding. Why, look at
what he'd done with Hawk in the dining hall! Becoming
horny from watching Connor and Desmond eat and then
making love in front of everyone. It felt illicit, which
had made it better somehow. Even now, remembering
made shivers go down his spine and his cock start to fill.
If he'd had more time he might have touched himself as
he remembered, but the transport stopped in front of the
small apartment complex he lived in with his family. He
thanked the driver and let himself out, his overnight bag
clutched in his hand.
He walked slowly up to the second floor apartments,
not really wanting to be here. It was so nice with Hawk.
So quiet and clean and soft. He liked being pampered
and cared for as if he were the most important person in
the whole universe. And Hawk was so beautiful;
thinking about him made Jester feel all squishy inside.
He let himself in, blinking at the light -- he hadn't
expected anyone to be up.
"Well, thank the stars you aren't dead! I was going to
call security soon." It was his mother, and she didn't
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look very happy. There was a glass of amber liquid in
her hand.
Jester swallowed. "I told you I was spending the
weekend with Hawk."
"You mean you left a note and I certainly expected
you to return at some point during the day, not this late
at night! You've got to be at work in five hours."
"I'll be okay, Mamm."
"Well I had to deal with the kids all by myself."
Jester could see that she hadn't picked up at all. The
place was a terrible mess.
"Sasha's old enough to look out for the younger ones.
And Petey, too." All you had to do was ask and they
were more than happy to help out around the house. In
fact, the little ones liked having chores -- it made them
proud that they could help.
Mamm sniffed. "They aren't you. You're the only one
everyone listens to."
Jester sighed, his previous joy and happiness fading.
"I'm sorry, Mamm, but I deserve my own life, too. I do a
whole lot during the week and I work hard and give you
all the money." It was funny, having the argument with
his mother, with him taking Hawk's words for his own
when earlier he'd been arguing her side.
She took a long drink. "You mean this is going to be
a regular thing?"
"Yes. I'm going to be there every weekend." Hawk
had said he could. Hawk wanted to be with him for him,
not because he was good with the kids or cleaned the
bathroom well.
"What about your family? You're going to abandon
us?" Oh, she could always make him feel so guilty when
she tried.
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"I'm here every weekday." Jester tried to stay calm so
he didn't give in to the guilt. He wouldn't give up being
with Hawk, he wouldn't.
"And what are you wearing? How much did that cost
you? A month's salary, I'll bet."
"Hawk gave it to me."
"He gave it to you? Why? What did you have to do
for it?" Mamm sneered at him, her meaning clear.
"Nothing! He just gave it to me."
"Are you sleeping with him? Is that it? Selling
yourself for stuff?" She made it sound so sordid.
"It isn't like that!" It wasn't. He wasn't sleeping with
Hawk to get stuff. He'd want to be with Hawk even if
the man was poorer than he was himself.
"Well, if he's giving you stuff so you'll sleep with
him, then he can give you money so the rest of us can
have nice stuff, too."
Tears filled his eyes. "It's not like that. He cares for
me. He loves me. He isn't... isn't paying me."
"Whatever lets you sleep at night, Jest. But you'd
better not be forgetting your family. You can earn stuff
for us, too."
Jester shook his head. "It isn't like that," he repeated,
miserable.
"Only an idiot sells themselves cheaply. Tell him you
need five hundred creds a month for us."
He gasped. "Mamm!"
"That's your new rent, for bunking here." Her face
got that hard look it had sometimes, when she was
talking to bill collectors or the school for the kids. Or
him, when he'd been bad.
"I'm not asking him for money. He cares about me
and I care about him. I... it isn't a transaction."
"Then you'd better find somewhere else to live.
You're either paying your rent or you're here every
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weekend, doing your chores and helping with your
brothers and sisters."
Jester held his bag tight. "Then I guess I'm moving
out."
"Fine. I'll have your palmprint removed in the
morning. Goodbye." Mamm didn't even look
particularly upset at kicking him out.
"Mamm... please."
"You going to stop seeing him?"
"No."
"You going to ask him for five hundred creds a
month so you can bunk here?"
"No!"
"Then there's the door. Don't bother packing -- I need
your stuff for the other boys. I'm sure your lover will
make sure you have plenty of clothes. Or maybe he likes
you going around naked all the time. And have your
apology ready for when he's had enough of your ass and
kicks you out."
Jester bit his lip and sniffed, wiping his eyes on his
sleeves. He wanted to say 'bye' to his brothers and sisters
and tell them he'd come by to visit, but he didn't know if
he could, so he just left and started walking.
He checked his pockets -- he didn't have enough for a
transport. There was no way he'd be able to walk to
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