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my lids, were unbearable. Charlie's broken expression Edward's brutal snarl, teeth bared Rosalie's
resentful glare the keen-eyed scrutiny of the tracker the dead look in Edward's eyes after he
kissed me the last time& I couldn't stand to see them. So I fought against my weariness and the sun rose
higher.
I was still awake when we came through a shallow mountain pass and the sun, behind us now, reflected
off the tiled rooftops of the Valley of the Sun. I didn't have enough emotion left to be surprised that we'd
made a three-day journey in one. I stared blankly at the wide, flat expanse laid out in front of me.
Phoenix the palm trees, the scrubby creosote, the haphazard lines of the intersecting freeways, the
green swaths of golf courses and turquoise splotches of swimming pools, all submerged in a thin smog
and embraced by the short, rocky ridges that weren't really big enough to be called mountains.
The shadows of the palm trees slanted across the freeway defined, sharper than I remembered, paler
than they should be. Nothing could hide in these shadows. The bright, open freeway seemed benign
enough. But I felt no relief, no sense of homecoming.
"Which way to the airport, Bella?" Jasper had asked, and I flinched, though his voice was quite soft and
un-alarming. It was the first sound, besides the purr of the car, to break the long night's silence.
"Stay on the I-ten," I'd answered automatically. "We'll pass right by it."
My brain had worked slowly through the fog of sleep deprivation.
"Are we flying somewhere?" I'd asked Alice.
"No, but it's better to be close, just in case."
I remembered beginning the loop around Sky Harbor International& but not ending it. I suppose that
must have been when I'd fallen asleep.
Though, now that I'd chased the memories down, I did have a vague impression of leaving the car the
sun was just falling behind the horizon my arm draped over Alice's shoulder and her arm firm around
my waist, dragging me along as I stumbled through the warm, dry shadows.
I had no memory of this room.
I looked at the digital clock on the nightstand. The red numbers claimed it was three o'clock, but they
gave no indication if it was night or day. No edge of light escaped the thick curtains, but the room was
bright with the light from the lamps.
I rose stiffly and staggered to the window, pulling back the drapes.
It was dark outside. Three in the morning, then. My room looked out on a deserted section of the
freeway and the new long-term parking garage for the airport. It was slightly comforting to be able to
pinpoint time and place.
I looked down at myself. I was still wearing Esme's clothes, and they didn't fit very well at all. I looked
around the room, glad when I discovered my duffel bag on top of the low dresser.
I was on my way to find new clothes when a light tap on the door made me jump.
"Can I come in?" Alice asked.
I took a deep breath. "Sure."
She walked in, and looked me over cautiously. "You look like you could sleep longer," she said.
I just shook my head.
She drifted silently to the curtains and closed them securely before turning back to me.
"We'll need to stay inside," she told me.
"Okay." My voice was hoarse; it cracked.
"Thirsty?" she asked.
I shrugged. "I'm okay. How about you?"
"Nothing unmanageable." She smiled. "I ordered some food for you, it's in the front room. Edward
reminded me that you have to eat a lot more frequently than we do."
I was instantly more alert. "He called?"
"No," she said, and watched as my face fell. "It was before we left."
She took my hand carefully and led me through the door into the living room of the hotel suite. I could
hear a low buzz of voices coming from the TV. Jasper sat motionlessly at the desk in the corner, his eyes
watching the news with no glimmer of interest.
I sat on the floor next to the coffee table, where a tray of food waited, and began picking at it without
noticing what I was eating.
Alice perched on the arm of the sofa and stared blankly at the TV like Jasper.
I ate slowly, watching her, turning now and then to glance quickly at Jasper. It began to dawn on me that
they were too still. They never looked away from the screen, though commercials were playing now. I
pushed the tray away, my stomach abruptly uneasy. Alice looked down at me.
"What's wrong, Alice?" I asked.
"Nothing's wrong." Her eyes were wide, honest& and I didn't trust them.
"What do we do now?"
"We wait for Carlisle to call."
"And should he have called by now?" I could see that I was near the mark. Alice's eyes flitted from mine
to the phone on top of her leather bag and back.
"What does that mean?" My voice quavered, and I fought to control it. "That he hasn't called yet?"
"It just means that they don't have anything to tell us."
But her voice was too even, and the air was harder to breathe.
Jasper was suddenly beside Alice, closer to me than usual.
"Bella," he said in a suspiciously soothing voice. "You have nothing to worry about. You are completely
safe here."
"I know that."
"Then why are you frightened?" he asked, confused. He might feel the tenor of my emotions, but he
couldn't read the reasons behind them.
"You heard what Laurent said." My voice was just a whisper, but I was sure they could hear me. "He
said James was lethal. What if something goes wrong, and they get separated? If something happens to
any of them, Carlisle, Emmett& Edward& " I gulped. "If that wild female hurts Esme& " My voice had
grown higher, a note of hysteria beginning to rise in it. "How could I live with myself when it's my fault?
None of you should be risking yourselves for me "
"Bella, Bella, stop," he interrupted me, his words pouring out so quickly they were hard to understand.
"You're worrying about all the wrong things, Bella. Trust me on this none of us are in jeopardy. You
are under too much strain as it is; don't add to it with wholly unnecessary worries. Listen to me!" he
ordered, for I had looked away. "Our family is strong. Our only fear is losing you."
"But why should you "
Alice interrupted this time, touching my cheek with her cold fingers. "It's been almost a century that
Edward's been alone. Now he's found you. You can't see the changes that we see, we who have been
with him for so long. Do you think any of us want to look into his eyes for the next hundred years if he
loses you?"
My guilt slowly subsided as I looked into her dark eyes. But, even as the calm spread over me, I knew I
couldn't trust my feelings with Jasper there.
It was a very long day.
We stayed in the room. Alice called down to the front desk and asked them to ignore our maid service
for now. The windows stayed shut, the TV on, though no one watched it. At regular intervals, food was
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