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to reduce the contents of her cup still further, while trying to
come to terms with his guardianship and striving to suppress
the belated feeling of strong resentment. I suppose during
these past years Grandpapa has always deferred to you,
gaining your consent before agreeing to my requests?
He wasn t foolish enough to deny it. Not that there were
too many occasions. I was happy enough to allow you to do
more or less as you wished and spend each summer with your
mother s sister and her family in Brighton. I ve done my
utmost to interfere in your life as little as possible.
If he had expected this admission to soothe any remaining
ruffled feathers, he could not have been more wrong. If
anything Emily s infuriation increased fourfold, not so much
with his lordship as with herself for being such a naïve little
simpleton as not to have suspected the truth long since. At the
very least she ought to have realised during his recent short
stay in Dorsetshire, when she had discovered he had been re-
sponsible for employing Finn, that his interest in her well-
being was more than just casual.
Striving to be fair, Emily could quite understand why her
mother had chosen Sebastian for the role of guardian. Her
mother had been present at Sebastian s birth, and had watched
him grow into a good-natured and sensible young man. She
had admired the way he had dealt with life s cruel blows
the death of his mother, followed by his father s demise two
years later, when Sebastian had just attained his majority.
She had been full of praise for the way he had shouldered
heavy responsibilities at such a young age, running his house
and lands, and betraying a keen knowledge of good hus-
bandry by attaining high yields from his acres.
It had to be admitted too that not many options had been
open to the late Laura Stapleton. She had been, as Sebastian
Anne Ashley 101
himself had remarked, immensely fond of her father-in-law,
but had not been blind to his faults. An intensely private man,
he had hardly been the ideal person to take charge of a lively
sixteen-year-old girl. Neither had her sister Agnes who, with
eight offspring of her own to rear, had had more than enough
on her hands without the added burden of taking care of her
orphaned niece.
Yes, Emily could appreciate why her mother had ap-
proached Sebastian. What she quite failed to understand was
why her mother had chosen to keep his guardianship secret,
and wasn t slow to seek the answer from the one person who
might possibly know.
I m not certain, Emily, he admitted. When next I visited
your mother, shortly after you had returned to the seminary,
we discussed the matter further, and I assured her that I
honestly considered marriage preferable. She was overjoyed,
openly confessing that it was what she had always hoped for.
When next you saw her, she had deteriorated considerably,
and was under the influence of laudanum for much of the
time. And when you agreed to the match, I suppose she con-
sidered there was no reason to tell you that she had appointed
me as your guardian.
Yes, that was possibly the truth of it, Emily acknowledged
silently, while vividly recalling that memorable occasion when
she had acquiesced, in Sebastian s presence, to her mother s
dearest wish. Undoubtedly she would have kept her word and
gone through with the wedding if her mother had lived.
In my arrogance it never occurred to me at the time that
you didn t truly wish to marry me, and that you d only agreed
to oblige your mother and give her peace of mind, he said,
his voice surprisingly gentle and laced with a wealth of under-
standing. Quite naturally you considered that your mother s
death absolved you from the promise you had made.
Yes, I did, she freely admitted. I felt I ought to consider
the feelings of those still living.
102 Lord Hawkridge s Secret
Not mine, Emily, you didn t, he countered, his voice still
gentle, yet edged now with faint reproach. I would quite
happily have gone through with the ceremony.
Yes, prompted by obligation, not love, she thought, but
said, I dare say you would have done. But as I recall you
didn t attempt to persuade me to change my mind when I
called to see you that day.
True enough. And I have frequently asked myself why I
didn t, he astounded her by divulging. But at the time I con-
sidered your reasons fully justified. You were too young. Had
you been eighteen or nineteen it would have been a different
matter entirely.
Listening to him anyone might be forgiven for supposing
that he would have been quite happy to marry her, Emily
decided. But how could this be so when he had loved Caroline?
Well, think yourself lucky that I did change my mind. Her
gurgle of laughter sounded distinctly forced even to her own
ears. Your guardianship has lasted a few years only, and will
soon be over. Had we married you d have been tied to me for
life.
He held her gaze with the sheer intensity of her own.
Believe me, my dear, I would not consider that a hardship.
But enough now of the past! he continued with an abrupt
change of tone, sounding almost businesslike. It is the future
which concerns me, and whether you intend to remain a guest
in this house?
How could she refuse him? It was little enough to ask in
recompense for what he had done for her giving up the
woman he loved in order to fulfil a dying woman s most
ardent wish, she reflected, before echoing the answer she had
given over two weeks ago in her grandfather s rose garden.
I cannot tell you how much that relieves my mind, he
admitted. I did not relish the prospect of sending out notes
cancelling our little party.
Party? Emily experienced an unpleasant foreboding of
Anne Ashley 103
trouble to come, which the sudden wicked gleam in his eyes
did absolutely nothing to alleviate. What party?
Shapely brows rose in surprise. Why, the party to celebrate
our engagement, of course! I felt sure my aunt would have
mentioned it. She s spoken of nothing else since she arrived
at this house, planning everything down to the last detail.
Well, she didn t, Emily responded, annoyed with herself
for not considering the possibility that the engagement would
be celebrated in some way. It s reasonable to suppose that
your aunt might have thought that I already knew. She
shrugged, quickly resigning herself to the ordeal ahead. I
dare say I ll contrive to cope as it s only to be a small affair.
But I shall need your full support, Hawk, she warned. I m
no expert at dissembling.
Perhaps this might help. From the pocket of his fash-
ionable jacket he drew out a small, square box, and flicked
open the lid to reveal a sapphire-and-diamond betrothal ring,
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